When I return to the world of the living and people start sharing fun-filled stories about Bangkok, I think I’ll lie and say we had a wonderful time; I think I’ll say that we spent a whole day exploring the stunning grand palace (instead of getting turned away at the gate for not being dressed properly), and I’ll say that we roamed the night markets and bartered cunningly for everything (instead of roaming the car yards looking for brake parts for Bob, and roaming the main roads looking for a Toyota garage, then not being able to understand or explain what we wanted)… When they talk about the friendly cheery locals, I’ll nod and agree and won’t mention the metered taxi driver who we showed a GPS map of where we wanted to go (only 4km away) who then drove around in circles and eventually onto the freeway and wouldn’t stop until we demanded to get out, dropping us 20km on the other side of town, in the middle of nowhere. And better still, I’ll add my own advice as an overlander that Bangkok is a GREAT place to get onwards visas, such as the one I tried to get at the Ukrainian embassy, where the slow, fat lumbering and angry Ukrainian man took time out from his busy schedule of playing playstation and masturbating to tell me in the rudest most unhelpful manner that I needed to show him the contract and licence of my inviting organisation from the Ukraine, the original tourist voucher, evidence of my entry clearance into Poland (eg, a letter from the polish consulate explaining that I didn’t need a visa), a note from the Queen and then pay twice as much for him to process the visa by next week.

Needless to say, Bangkok was just fail after fail on the admin front, blowing our budget and making us uber grateful to get the TF out.